Tequila
kills the kittens ( chorus to the tune of don’t go out in the
woods?)
There was a man drank only Scotch
it was a tradition he’s rather not botch
When sitting stiff in a corner,
drinking with a lass
They caromed right in front of him
and he witnessed the crash
O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
He saw three kittens spinning through,
twirling paw in paw
Collide with a pirate there, who they began
to claw
The space pirate was drunk indeed
So that as he landed on the floor
He had barely noticed that kittens play
tough
as they and his gallblader went out the door
O was it an accident?, What a terrible
shame.
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
There was a red head from an NASFIC site
All she drank was vodka cause she knew it
couldn’t bite.
She was looking at the Scotsman’s kilt,
wonderin bout the breeze
When that crowd came flying through,
just in front of the Scotsman’s knees
O was it an accident?, What a terrible
shame.
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
An SCA warlord was there, puking beer
We didn’t wonder, It was what he always did
here.
When on a warm up spin,
the kittens dashed on past
But as he rose up, His idol still held in his arms
The now returning kittens got him on their
second pass
O was it an accident?, What a terrible
shame.
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
A hall-costume entrant was strutting her
stuff,
She drank only gin, (she thought whiskey
too rough)
Her costume was a jiggling mass
of buables, bells, and beads,
it’s continuous busy wiggeling motions
nicely suited kitten needs.
O was it an accident?, What a terrible
shame.
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
They found the Scotsman and the redhead
entwined in the morn
Graven their apon their faces, an trace of
horror just new born
His kilt, It had vanished
Her skirt, also gone
They fought the good fight, they lay back to back
But the scratches spiraled round their bods
four full turns long
O was it an accident?, What a terrible
shame.
Or was it no accident?, Then who is to
blame?
Tequila killed the kittens
[more verses here]
They found the kittens curled up tight
But they were cold in that kilt
in the mornings light
The whole site was quiet
like nothing was wrong
Just corpses and an empty bottle
who’s tequela was gone
[ Maybe last chorus ]
Feeding tequila
to the kittens, kills all the pain
But smart men
and kittens don’t go out in the rain
Kittens won’t
let anyone have a hangover in the morning
NachtHeim 1995