Tequila kills the kittens ( chorus to the tune of don’t go out in the woods?)

 

There was a man drank only Scotch

it was a tradition he’s rather not botch

When sitting stiff in a corner,

drinking with a lass

They caromed right in front of him 

and he witnessed the crash

 

O was it an accident?,  What a terrible shame

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

He saw three kittens spinning through, twirling paw in paw

Collide with a pirate there, who they began to claw

The space pirate was drunk indeed

So that as he landed on the floor

He had barely noticed that kittens play tough

as they and his gallblader went  out the door

 

O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame.

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

There was a red head from  an NASFIC site

All she drank was vodka cause she knew it couldn’t bite.

She was looking at the Scotsman’s kilt,

 wonderin bout the breeze

When that crowd came flying through,

just in front of the Scotsman’s knees

 

O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame.

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

An SCA warlord was there, puking beer

We didn’t wonder, It was what he always did here.

When on a warm up spin,

the kittens dashed on past

But as he rose up,  His idol still held in his arms

The now returning kittens got him on their second pass

 

O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame.

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

A hall-costume entrant was strutting her stuff,

She drank only gin, (she thought whiskey too rough)

Her costume was a jiggling mass

of buables, bells, and beads,

it’s continuous busy wiggeling motions 

nicely suited kitten needs.

 

O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame.

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

They found the Scotsman and the redhead entwined in the morn

Graven their apon their faces, an trace of horror just new born

His kilt, It had vanished

Her skirt, also gone

They fought the good fight, they lay  back to back

But the scratches spiraled round their bods four full turns long

 

O was it an accident?, What a terrible shame.

Or was it no accident?, Then who is to blame?

Tequila killed the kittens

 

[more verses here]

 

They found the kittens curled up tight

But they were cold in that kilt  in the mornings light

The whole site was quiet

like nothing was wrong

Just corpses and an empty bottle

who’s tequela was gone

 

[ Maybe last chorus ]

Feeding tequila to the kittens, kills all the pain

But smart men and kittens don’t go out in the rain

Kittens won’t let anyone have a hangover in the morning

 

  NachtHeim 1995